EST. 2026 · PRE-LAUNCH · DAY 0 TEHTY HELSINGISSÄ · KALLIO KITCHEN · BATCH BC-001 CURING ● JOIN THE LIST · BE FIRST
FILE № SEALED · EYES ONLY · NOT FOR THE SQUARES

The Heist.

You found this page. That already makes you an accomplice. Solve four small crimes below to crack the code, redeem the prize, and get added to the Hall of Accomplices. No two codes are the same. Don't rat.

▲ ACCOMPLICES ONLY ▲ NO RATS ▲ NO SPOILERS ▲ IF YOU CRACK IT, DON'T POST IT ▲ ACCOMPLICES ONLY ▲ NO RATS ▲ NO SPOILERS ▲ IF YOU CRACK IT, DON'T POST IT ▲
EVIDENCE · CASE OPEN

Four clues.
Four digits.

SOLVE EACH ONE TO FILL THE VAULT CODE BELOW.
CLUE 01 · BRINE
CLUE 02 · pH
CLUE 03 · BATCH
CLUE 04 · SIGNAL
EVIDENCE A · TEXT CIPHER

01 · The Safeword

Our tagline has five words. Type the fourth word of it into any page on this site — no spaces, no punctuation — and something happens. How many times does the letter I appear in that word?
EVIDENCE B · THE RECORD

02 · Lowest pH on File

The Rap Sheet lists every batch, pH-verified. The lowest pH in our log is 3.42. What's the last digit?
EVIDENCE C · THE ROSTER

03 · Known Offenders

How many regular offenders are in our line-up? (Seasonals don't count — they're guests.)
EVIDENCE D · THE SIGNAL

04 · Konami

Tap the famous cheat code on your keyboard: ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A. Count the arrow presses only. How many?
THE VAULT

Crack the code.

4 CLUES REMAIN · ENTER THE CODE WHEN READY
VAULT CRACKED · YOU'RE ONE OF US NOW
ACCOMPLICE · CONFIRMED

You cracked it before launch. That moves you to the top of the crew list — first 24 jars of BC-001, no questions asked. Drop your email below and we'll mark the file.

DOTHECRIME · PRIORITY 001
← BACK TO HQ
SECTION VI · HOUSE RULES

If you're in,
you're in.

  1. One code per accomplice. Use it once. Pass it on when you're done.
  2. No posting the answers on social. We'll send you a jar if you're discreet. We'll send nothing if you're not.
  3. The heist resets every season. New clues. New prize. Same discount logic.
  4. If you find a bug, not a clue, that's a different kind of crime. Tell us and we'll cut you in anyway.
  5. Be nice to the cheese counter at Stall 15. They don't get it but they tried.